The Universe is trying to tell me something. I suspect it has been trying for some time, but I have such an incredibly hard head that even the great and mighty Universe has reached a point of acute frustration with me and decided to scream, in its way, and throw a whole bunch of really obvious crap at my head in the space of less than nine hours.
(Side note: It really is a damned shame that no one super-close to me, I mean people who have known me for years and years will ever read this. They would get an enormous kick out of the fact that finally The Universe itself became as fed up as they have often been.)
I have been in some rather acute distress for about a week, I won’t go into detail (nor even speak vaguely) concerning the cause. Whether or not most people would see it fit for public consumption, I do not.
Last night, shortly after midnight, I went to fetch my mail (don’t judge my habits, they don’t affect you in the least). I had been so incredibly morose and I was delighted to find a communication from a dear friend — actually, I was moved to a state of sobbing. Not tears, not little rivulets overflowing my eyelids in a ladylike and touching manner, rather blinding, doubled-over, snot running from my nose bawling. It was complete and utter gratitude that provoked this display in me, a depth of feeling that I struggle to convey here.
Incidentally, is it still a display if no one sees you?
I then settled in to watch a very great movie that I hadn’t watched in a very long time: Dead Poet’s Society. I could go on and on about this one, but for now I will confine myself to saying if you haven’t seen it, you’re very much missing out. But there was a particular quote, from the lips of Robin Williams (who else?), that struck me enough to take down word for word:
Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular.
At this point I was beginning to have an inkling that I was supposed to be coming to a realization, folks. That I was perhaps reaching the denouement of my current tekufah — and if you want that one explained, check out dear Laura’s comment on this post. It has incredible wisdom (the comment, not the post).
Comes the next item, when I run out to Starbucks in my usual pajamas, looking as usually disheveled as I do during this errand, about two hours later than usual, which doesn’t happen to bother me at all (refer to above parenthetical about judging my habits). Coming out, a gentleman from FEMA approached me in the parking lot. For those of you out of the loop, I live in Colorado where there has recently been terrible flooding, hence the presence of these good people. This particular good person was hopelessly lost and needed a great deal of assistance in finding his destination. I have an inkling he chose me to talk to because I looked him in the eye and smiled and didn’t rush on by like all of the other morning customers so eager to Get To Where They’re Going On Time they have forgotten how to look at each other. And yes, the pajamas may have helped.
In any case, after about a half an hour of explaining and looking things up (Google Maps and I trump Apple and Siri once again) and writing them down I got him on his way. Whether he arrived there. . . I think he made it.
I soon received an email from a friend, which was not in any way about me. However, this friend said so many things that showed me the trust and value they have for me, and made a statement. . . I don’t know the words to wrap around it, it’s incredibly personal — no, not like that, I said it wasn’t about me! It just illustrated for me a value I am unable to easily see in myself (and I am a person who recognizes her value better than most).
And finally, as if The Universe had grown tired of hitting me over the head and decided it would try just tying a nice little hometown bow on the whole thing, TheEditingGirl posted this entry: A Message From Mr. Rogers.
For those of you who don’t want to click (although there’s a picture and TheEditingGirl is kind of really awesome), here is the quote from dearest Fred himself:
If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
I’m getting more out of that one every time I read it.
Well, I still have a great many hours in this day, all. And I have an inkling The Universe isn’t through with me yet. Nor am I entirely through this tekufah (the term, as I understand it, is pretty much perfect). We’ll see where a few more blows to this infamously thick skull get me.
Addendum: In proofing and reading over my parenthetical notes to the reader on not judging my habits, it occurred to me to that you are welcome, go ahead and judge all your mind desires. I don’t honestly give a fuck. One more quote for the road:
Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can’t mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has. ~ William S. Burroughs
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